...tattooed on my soul...

Well news is this.  Monday I may be leaving... God willing and there is any possibility at all that the job is there and I have a chance to land it - a foot in the door just to get there.  I will go.  I will beg, borrow, and steal to get there.  Okay maybe not steal but you get the point.  I am leaving.  No more of this.  I cannot do another day like this one.  New beginnings... Ugh - the last two days have been torture.  I cannot be here and survive.  No way.  I don't need the reminder of how little I matter. 

This experience is tattooed on my soul and God willing the right choices will be made.  It's out of my hands and in that of the higher ups.  They cannot expect me to tolerate any more of this.  I have zero fight left in me.  Why fight when you are the only one fighting for it?  Seems pointless and hell, you can say words all day long.  My friends, actions - those are the things that matter.  Don't let one day go by without SHOWING someone how you feel.  Seriously.  Saying I love you and showing I love you is totally different.  AND IT makes a HUGE difference.  Be that person.  

You do not treat people that you love with such disrespect and whatever else this is.  I have no more strength for this situation.  I truly don't.  The last of it went flying out the window today as I sat crying on my sisters shoulder.  It's me or them.  Well I have to do what's right for me.  For my kids and for my future.  My future does not include being treated as some person you barely know or that you don't even know.  Offer up new beginnings to someone and they treat you like a stranger.  WOW.  I truly get it now.  And it hurts, ain't gonna lie.  Every moment of every day - but I am a survivor and I will survive this.  One way or another.  Smile and say - hey I am okay.

I know my self worth and I know I will have everything I want.  And that is not here. 

**Sitting on the edge of tomorrow**

Have a great night ya'll.

~ V~